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Episodes

Pilot
E1

Pilot

6.5

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

23 min

Big Flappy Bastards
E2

Big Flappy Bastards

7.1

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

21 min

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
E3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

7.3

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

21 min

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
E4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

7.6

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

21 min

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
E5

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

7.3

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

19 min

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
E6

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

6.8

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

21 min

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
E7

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

7.6

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

21 min

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
E8

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

7.2

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

19 min

Phase One, Complete
E9

Phase One, Complete

6.8

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

21 min

Merry Thanksgiving
E10

Merry Thanksgiving

7.0

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

21 min

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
E11

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

6.9

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

20 min

Camel Filters and Pheromones
E12

Camel Filters and Pheromones

7.0

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

21 min

Sarah Like Puny Alan
E13

Sarah Like Puny Alan

6.7

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

20 min

I Can't Afford Hyenas
E14

I Can't Afford Hyenas

6.8

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

21 min

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
E15

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

6.9

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

21 min

That Was Saliva, Alan
E16

That Was Saliva, Alan

7.0

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

21 min

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
E17

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

7.3

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

20 min

An Old Flame with a New Wick
E18

An Old Flame with a New Wick

7.1

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

21 min

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Now Playing
E19

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

7.2

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

19 min

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
E20

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

6.9

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

21 min

No Sniffing, No Wowing
E21

No Sniffing, No Wowing

6.9

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

21 min

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
E22

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

6.7

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

21 min

Just Like Buffalo
E23

Just Like Buffalo

7.4

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

21 min

Can You Feel My Finger?
E24

Can You Feel My Finger?

7.0

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

21 min

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